I played a wedding a few weeks ago and was humbled so much by the inner peace of the bride. I enjoy playing weddings– for the MOST part– because I get to work for amazing clients. Most of my clients have seen me at one of my residencies and/ or they have been referred to me by one of the wedding coordinating crews I also work with. I am no longer playing weddings aside from a handful of dates in 2019. No offense to the game, I just want to take this in a different direction and the weddings were beginning to stack up.
I get to see people from a very vulnerable side of their lives. Getting married is a beautiful institution. I have had the honor to play all kinds of weddings: gay, straight, expensive and modest, members of my own close family and friends, Jewish, Indian, Soca, Armenian, Christian, Spiritual, Non-religious. I have learned so much about crowd dynamics, sound quality, city noise-ordinances (ugh!), attention to detail and most importantly, how to talk to people who trust me with such a special day for them.
Weddings are hard, y’all. I am in NO way complaining– but they are difficult to get through on time, smoothly and graciously. There are many, many moving parts and I am so happy when I am working with talented and very capable wedding coordinators, (goddesses amongst mortal men) and/ or Day Of Coordinators (superheroes during difficult times) and their amazing assistants (an army of tireless warriors), caterers, and bartenders, and a host of great vendors. I mean, we all have been working almost eight hours before the real party even begins, in most cases. Like I said, I am NOT complaining– just sayin’.
I have worked with some of the most amazing brides, some are now good friends of mine. I have played for my own ex’s and best friends alike. Mmhmm, sure. No pressure… (*nervous laughter*). I have always focused on the bride. Though there have been some times the mother of the bride wanted to remain in the driver’s seat despite the wedding being for her daughter, it was always about the bride. There is a saying I once heard at a Jewish wedding, “Happy wife; happy life.” So easy. I do my best to use that simple advice even in my own amazing relationship with my own beloved bride. I ask the bride specifically if she’s “doing good” during her own wedding and do my sincere best to keep her happy.
One bride in particular comes to mind because of what it felt like being in her presence. She held a sense of quiet inner peace that felt so calming. You see, she suffered from a near-fatal condition and survived despite her having a thirteen percent survival rate. She beat the odds and it quietly showed. She was vocal when necessary yet, peacefully quiet, most of the time. She had a way of including everyone in the conversation during our crew meetings. Its as if she was holding her peace with sincere presence. She requested her needs and wants in a way that can only be described as humble, gracious and monk-like. She was friendly and polite yet had a quiet strength of someone who seemed to appreciate life like a survivor and a fighter. Watching her interact with her now-husband was refreshing. She seemed to appreciate their time together and he returned the gesture quietly, with love and with gratitude. They were and still are wildly in love with one another.
They lived and loved like tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and they were just so dang quiet and at ease about it, too. It was inspiring to see two people so in love with one another, their families and life itself. It wasn’t overt; they didn’t go around with an air of hokey-spiritualism or an inflated sense of entitled “enlightenment”. They were just so… happy to be here.
They were just happy to be here. Now.
They beat the odds and kept a quiet score of the days they now get to live side by side. She loved her man and it showed in the way she spoke to him and the way she looked at him. He loved his woman like his life depended on it. The songs they chose for the whole wedding really did speak about their love for one another in the lyrics. Its like almost every track was a tiny love letter to one another. There is nothing like working with clients who find the music as important as the food or the flowers. It really is a pleasure and honor to work with people like that.
I get– GET– to DJ for a living. The hustle is real but its events like this one that makes it worth the extra efforts. I am blessed and I know it. Life is short, y’all. Every damn day is sweet.
Go listen to some Stevie Wonder, already.